Giving Myself Permission

Giving PermissionAs I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’m in the middle of a new adventure in my life as I’m starting my own business. My new business will be mostly online since it will be more service based than product based. I knew starting this business would require a lot of me but I really had no idea all that would be involved. It is an enormous undertaking but one that, in all honesty, I am truly enjoying. Now anyway.

Initially I was getting completely overwhelmed. I’m connected with several small business groups, including some geared specifically for coaches which is one of the services I offer. There are so many “experts” out there, each with their own list of “rules” on how to get started. I was getting overwhelmed by everything I was being told I “had” to do if I was going to get started the “right” way and be successful. I was shutting down and getting nowhere.

Then last weekend as I was journaling I decided to SOPE the experts. I decided to give myself permission to do this my way. To honor what feels most right and most true in my heart and trust that God will orchestrate the details as He sees best. I even put a sticky note up on desk with a reminder of this permission. I get to do this my way.

The next day I read this post and the idea of letting go of the outcome really stuck with me. I realized that by trying to following the experts and their rules, I was ultimately trying to control the outcome. “They” said if I followed these specific steps then I will grow my business and be successful. The desire to be successful is not a bad one. But if I truly believe that the Father is leading me in this journey – and I do – then the outcome is up to Him. I just need to show up, do my part and trust Him for the rest. This isn’t permission to be lazy. It is, however, permission to decide that my journey to business ownership is going to be different than every other business owner out there and truth is that’s the way it should be.

The simple act of giving myself permission released something in me. As I let go of the need to control the outcome, my soul exhaled and in the space of all that tension and overwhelm came clarity and direction. I have made some really great progress this week in a number of key areas in my business. I feel clearer about how I want to offer my gifts to the world and I’ve been having a lot of fun this week.

Giving myself permission! It was such a simple act but it has made all the difference for me as I have worked this week. I feel like myself and that is the best feeling in the world!

Are there any areas where you need to give yourself permission? What would it feel like for you to let go of the outcome and trust the journey? Let’s talk about it in the comments below.

P.S: I would love to have you tag along with me in my new adventure. Click here to sign up for my newsletter and I’ll keep you informed of all the happenings along the way.

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Musings from Around the Web 04.12.14 Edition

04.12.14 weekly roundupAs I was wondering around the web this week I came across some great content that I wanted to share with you guys. My goal is to do this on a regular basis because there’s some really good stuff out there. My thinking and assumptions are being challenged and I like it, a lot. I’ve decided to take y’all along on that ride with me too so you can look for one of these posts, hopefully weekly.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been leaning more and more into my passion to see women rise into their best selves, ESPECIALLY women leaders. As women, I believe we habitually diminish who we are and the value we have to bring in owning our stories and our voices. As women leaders, we think we have to do it the way men do it to succeed and I just happen to disagree with that thought process.

My findings this week are aimed at getting us women to think differently about how we present ourselves and our work to the world.

In this interview with Arianna Huffington, women are challenged to redefine success –  “…redefining success and what it means to live a life that matters, which will be different for each of us, according to our own values and goals (and not those imposed on us by society)

My friend Karen, penned this gorgeous post that reminded me, when it comes to the work I offer to the world, there is no right or wrong way, there is only my way – “because it’s not about doing more. or doing right. it’s about being you. and doing what you need to do based on where you are right now.”

After reading this article about a habit that lasts only 30 seconds, I have a found a little notebook to carry around with me so I can start implementing it – “it’s not note taking…it’s hard work…[but] it gets easier and more valuable.”

I LOVE Pharrell Williams’ song Happy. Seriously, how can you not get happy listening to that song 🙂 This post offers some clues on how to find your happy – “Instead of worrying about what others think you “should” be doing to find joy, they say, focus on finding your own unique path to happiness.”

I’ll sign off on this week’s roundup with Pharrell Williams’ video. I dare you not to smile while watching it. Have a fabulous weekend and may you discover your HAPPY!

You Do Not Have To Be Good

I was reminded of this poem by Mary Oliver recently. The entire poem is pretty amazing but every time I read these lines, it’s as if something in my soul just exhales.

Mary Oliver quoteI think, as women, we spend an awful lot of our time wishing away the things our heart and soul truly desire or worse yet numbing them away. We think we “shouldn’t” want the things we want because well it’s not “right”; thereby, giving someone else permission to decide what is or is not right for us. Our hopes and dreams are based on the expectations of others and not on what’s happening in our hearts. And quite frankly, I’m tired of it.

For too long I lived my life trying to be what people said I should be. I stuffed dreams and desires because they were not what was expected of me and somewhere along the way I lost sight of the me I was meant to be. I apologized for not being what “they” said I should be. I repented for not loving the things they said I should love or for loving the things I was not supposed to love. But then it got exhausting. It got exhausting trying to be what everyone else said I should be when I just wanted to be who I am.

I want to love what I love, without apology. I want to let this soft animal of my body just be what it is. I want to meet my body and my heart and my soul with kindness and grace. I want to do the things that feel right and pure and holy for me.

I want to embrace the sacred and the mystery of the Divine. I don’t want to have all the answers, instead I want to grow more comfortable with the questions. More than anything I want to stop living someone else’s version of my life and rise into the story I was born to live.

I wonder what it would look like if more of us women chose to be so brave. To let go of the expectations of others and just be who we are, without apology. To stand up and say this is who I am! This is the work I believe I am meant to offer the world! This is me claiming my voice…my story!

This is my heart’s desire, to see women rise up from under the weight of shame because the narrative in our heart doesn’t fit the one we are “supposed” to be writing. To get out from under the power of voices that tell us we are not enough and our story doesn’t matter. To rise above the preconceived notions about who we can become and what we can do because of our gender or our race or our economic status. To stand up against the forces that would demand that we play some part that makes “them” more comfortable.

I’m done watching us allow society and well meaning family and friends decide the outcome of our story. It’s time for us to take back our power. It’s time for us to own our stories and our voices. It’s time for us to remind the world that we are WOMAN!

HEAR US ROAR!!

What voices are you fighting to quiet in your heart? What expectations are you desperate to let go? I would love to hear more of your journey in the comments below.