Five Minute Friday: Mess

5minutefridayI’m linking up for another Five Minute Friday post with the lovely Lisa-Jo Baker. Still not sure if I’m going to do this every week but I’m giving away a copy of Lisa-Jo’s book this week so I thought I would participate and help spread the word about her fabulous book.

Five Minute Friday is five minutes of unedited, unfiltered writing. This week the prompt is Mess. Ready, set, GO!


Several times this week I have broken down in tears. I am in the middle of major transition in my life (more of that in another post) and I have had all these emotions unexpectedly rise to the surface, almost out of the blue. I don’t do emotions well. I label them good and bad. Joy, happiness, peace, those are good emotions. Anger, pain, sorrow, these are bad emotions. I want only the good, I don’t have the time or the energy for the bad and I just assume not have to deal with them.

The problem, as Brene Brown points out, is you can’t selectively numb emotions. If you numb the bad, you numb the good. But the bad ones are so messy, so out of control and I like control. I don’t like messy (although if you saw my house today you wouldn’t believe that to be true). But I think I may need to learn to embrace the mess. Learn to be okay with the tears that come and sit with them to hear the lessons they want to share. Learn to embrace the sorrow and see in it a gateway to true joy.

Tears are messy, especially for me since I don’t let myself cry often enough so when I do cry, it’s often the messy snot-inducing kind of crying. But I think maybe I need to give myself permission to feel the ache I’ve been numbing because maybe the ache is a clue to my heart’s true longing. Maybe the ache is an invitation to come discover what I truly want or, more accurately, what I truly need.

So today, I think I’m going to risk embracing the mess. I think I’m going to let it be okay that I don’t have it all together and that life is messy because from what I understand, if I’m willing to look for it, I just might find the beauty in the mess.



One of the most wonderfully messy joys in the world is being a Mom. Few things disarm you like the overwhelming emotions that come along with being a Mom. In honor of Mother’s Day I’m giving away a copy of Lisa-Jo’s book Surprised by Motherhood. To enter just share in the comments one of the biggest surprises you discovered when you took a risk and trusted your heart. You can post either below or in the comments of the contest post. Contest stays open until Monday at 11:59 EST.

Congratulations Carol Craft! You won a copy of Lisa’s book Surprised by Motherhood. Check your email for details.


18 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Mess

  1. Makeda,

    I am blessed by your words, as your title implies, “putting your wordsmith genius to work in order to encourage and empower”, I pray you will be encouraged and empowered to let the tears flow when they must as they are cleansing and bring healing. I pray that you will be embraced by grace and enveloped by love so that you will know that it is ok, whatever IT its, because you are an overcomer in Christ and His glory shines through you.

    Bless you!

  2. Loved your words.
    The labeling of good emotions/bad emotions made so much sense.
    It’s what I do. I struggle on not sinning, not giving into my flesh so much some times that yes I numb out to everything and make life one long test. Your post reminded me immediately of the Sermon on the Mount: blessed are the poor in spirit…blessed are those who mourn…theirs is the kingdom of God, they get comforted.
    In response to your give a way question:
    I can’t recall a single one event, but I have experienced giving time and effort into a friend who for various reasons, most not her fault, did not reciprocate much friendship back. For like years. So many times my protection response kicked in to just wanna forget her…too many issues…too many times feeling like a loser cuz she cancels or ignores again. But I didn’t and God has enriched and blossomed our friendship incredibly.
    Happy Friday

    • Leah, what a beautiful story about persevering in the relationship with your friend. So thrilled to hear that you have been enriched by that friendship as a result. Thank you so much for stopping by and for commenting. You reminder from the Sermon on the Mount is very timely. Thank you!

  3. Yes. The mess of our emotions can be a beautiful creation in the end. I have learned that to fully live I have to experience all that I feel. Thanks for sharing!

    • Latonya, I love this “to fully live I have to experience all that I feel” That is such a powerful statement. I may have to put that up somewhere I can see it often. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.

  4. Nothing as messy as transition. We’ve done those a LOT. Thinking of you this week – may joy surprise you right there in the middle of the unexpected.

    thanks so much for sharing about my book – what a gift.


    • Thanks so much for your prayers. Transitions are messy aren’t they, even if they are the right ones for you. I don’t take it lightly when people choose to pray for me. It’s my joy to be able to share your book with my friends. Your words truly are like honey for the weary mom’s soul. Hugs and much love to you friend.

  5. I love your post. I can so relate! Yikes. Emotions are definitely messy. I’ve learned (and most days am still learning) that they are a strength though not a weakness like I automatically wanted to think they are. (i am the person who tears up when i pray out loud almost every time….)
    I am not always sure HOW they are a strength but I know they are. Lol. I guess it is the ability to care deeply and hurt for others. So i try to just not worry and not let it stop me.

    • Kristina, thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I love that you tear up every time you pray out loud, speaks to a really tender and sensitive heart which tells me that you have a profoundly deep connection with the Father. I will have to learn from you in seeing these messy emotions as a strength and not a weakness. Thanks for sharing your perspective. It helps me a lot.

  6. Carol Graft says:

    Something surprising? Wow so many things. Non-motherhood…realizing that I can be okay walking in a (one of the) paths that God has placed me on in teaching at our local family mission. Didn’t think I had anything to share.
    Motherhood surprise: that I am strong enough with God to handle a daughter’s chronic illness and all the messy and unpredictable that comes with that. Tonight is probably one of the worst episodes in 9 years.
    I will cry if I think about it too much.
    Other surprises for sure. 7 children ( including twins and first born with some special needs ( CP/ speech) equals many transitions and many messy moments. But a nearly 10 yo son who still likes to cuddle and be read to, is definitely a “makes all things better” moment.
    Thanks for sponsoring this giveaway !

    • Oh Carol, you are so brave and such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story. I know you have some hard days but I also imagine you have some really sweet days that make your heart burst with joy. As I think of it, I will pray for you that you will continue to gather strength from the Father to love your children well. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Hugs to you!

      • Carol says:

        Wow!Thanks for your awesomely kind words. I don’t know that I think of myself as an inspiration. But thanks. If i can be /am a blessing to anyone that is a lovely thing. And today things are so much better. Insulin pump tubing was leaking yesterday (and maybe before ) and we just didn’t think of checking. :-/ so yeah, yesterday was no fun. Probably just a distraction of the enemy as my hubby and I were also scheduled to teach sunday school today, on forgiveness. One of my favorite things to teach on and oh so hard. Nervous because it was the first time we taught under our new pastor. Thanks again for your lovely words. and your prayers. Blessings to you as well.

      • You’re so welcome. Glad to hear that today was better than yesterday. Happy to hear that you found the source of the problem and were able to get it fixed. Hope your teaching went well. Forgiveness is a hard one but oh so important. Praying that you were met with grace and kindness by the listeners including your new pastor.

  7. Hi Makeda! I’m Heather and I was hoping you would be willing to answer a quick question about your blog! If you could email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com that would be great!

    • Heather feel free to use the contact form on my blog to send me your question. You can find it on the top menu by clicking the button on the left. Thanks

  8. I think everyone needs a good cry (the snot-inducing kind) every now and then. It’s messy but often the relief that comes out of it is quite beautiful.

    • You’re so right, those snot-inducing cries are the most cleansing and healing, aren’t they. Learning to give myself permission to let those tears come when they need to. Thanks for stopping by and commenting

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