The Gift of Presence {Coffee for Your Heart}

gift of presenceA few months ago I walked through a really difficult time. It was one of those times when getting out of bed was about all I could muster up the energy to do. I spent most days crying and every day wishing the ache and weight in my heart would go away. I didn’t leave my house for a week and if I could have stayed home the whole month I probably would have.

I’m not the girl with a ton of friends. My tendency is to keep people at bay because it just feels safer to me. However, I do have a handful of people I have risked letting in and who mean the world to me. During that time in my life they literally became my life savers.

Two friends showed up unexpectedly at my door and just sat with me for a couple of hours. We didn’t say much but we didn’t need to, they’re just that kind of friend. Another friend came over and just sat with me in the middle of my grief. Again no words were needed, just her presence was enough. Another friend brought me dinner and season 1 of Psych, which made me laugh at a time when crying seemed to be the only emotion I could conjure up.

Each of my friends didn’t do anything magical or big, they were simply there for me. I didn’t realize what a gift it was until later. I realized their coming over helped me breathe through the pain of what I was facing. Their sitting with me helped me find strength to face another day. I don’t think I would have gotten through that time if it wasn’t for the gift of my friend’s presence.

Presence! It’s a small thing but what a difference it can make. Being fully present with someone doesn’t cost us anything (at least not in terms of money) and can be the simplest thing in the world to do. But simple doesn’t mean easy. It can be hard to just be with someone, to just sit in the silence and let the grief or the pain that is there just be. We are uncomfortable with both silence and pain. We want to make it better, find the right words to take it all away but sometimes that’s not what is needed. Sometimes all that is needed is the gift of presence.

My friends saved my life that week just by being with me in my grief. They didn’t have to DO anything, what I needed most was for them to just BE there with me.

My prayer is that in the fast paced, busyness of our lives, we may remember that sometimes it’s the small things that can make all the difference.

From my heart to yours,

Makeda Coffee-for-Your-Heart-150I am once again linking up with Holley for her Coffee For Your Heart series. I missed last week because I was down with a stomach bug but happy to be back to share a little bit from my heart to yours. You can click here to learn more or to join in on the fun.


14 thoughts on “The Gift of Presence {Coffee for Your Heart}

    • Thanks Maria! Quiet can be SOOO hard but I have definitely learned how valuable it can be. Always appreciate when you stop by. Hugs to you friend.

    • Hi Rebecca! Thanks for stopping over from Holley’s place. Always love having new visitors to my corner of the blogsphere. I’m gonna have to skip over to your place and read some of your writings too. Thanks again for stopping by.

  1. This is a beautiful post and a powerful example of presence. I’m so glad you have friends that could be present with you during your grief. That is a true gift.

    • Hi Anne! It really is a gift to have friends who will walk with us thru the hard times. Thanks so much for stopping by and reading my ramblings 🙂

  2. You said this well, Makeda. Thank you! I believe that all of us who have lived a few years (I have 81 now and can’t believe it) through our own life experiences we know what you are saying.
    Do I have your permission to put this on our website, and translate it into Portuguese? (Brasil is home to my heart, although I’m now back in the states in Oregon)
    Again, thank you!

    • Hi Voni, thanks so much for your kind words and for stopping by. You are more than welcome to put this on your website and translate it. I would ask that you reference and link back to the original post but by all means share it. Thank you for asking and for being willing to share with others.

  3. Makeda, I just re-read this post. Again, I want to say thanks!
    I haven’t yet put this on our site: it was hacked (the site) and just now getting it up so I can start posting once again. But, right now, I’m going to send this post out to some women I know it will bless. And – blessings for YOU is my prayer.

    • Voni, I’m so sorry to hear that your site was hacked. Praying things have settled down and you have gotten it worked out. I appreciate your willingness to share my words with those you think will be blessed by it. What a gift you have given to my heart today. Thank you!

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