“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible. it is yours” Ayn Rand
I’ve never read anything by Ayn Rand but this quote has found me on more than one occasion. It most recently re-presented itself as I’ve been contemplating the next steps in my life’s journey. I’ve alluded to the changes coming in my life and I’m still not at liberty to speak of them in detail but as I have considered the massive upheaval about to come to my life, fear has been nipping at my feet. I started thinking maybe I shouldn’t do this after all. Maybe I should just stay put and not risk saying no to a life that no longer serves me in order to try to find a life that honors the best of who I want to be. What if I fail? What if I just end up settling for some other iteration of my life that is still not authentic but pays the bills? What if….? The list was endless running around in my head. Top of the list of reasons why I needed to stay put was thinking I was too old. Too old to start over. Too old to begin again. Then these words found me and they stoked the waning embers of courage in my soul, reminding me that to not make this change is to risk never becoming the best version of myself I’m capable of becoming.
I had a really hard week and by the end of it my heart felt incredibly raw. To help my wounded heart I decided to art journal. I had not art journaled in awhile but I know art heals and my heart desperately needed some healing. There is no right or wrong way to art journal. Some people paint in their journals, some people draw, others use it as a way to capture their thoughts through art. For me art journaling is about uncovering the secret messages my heart is trying to whisper to me. I believe my heart is always speaking but usually I can’t hear her over the noise of other people’s voices and expectations. Art journaling gets me out of my head and into my heart.
I created four art journal pages last night. This is one of them
The picture of this woman just caught my eye because she looks strong and confident but in an understated way. As if to say “don’t underestimate the power of me”. The quote I wrote on the bottom says: “she believed who she could become was worth the risk of letting go who she was”. And I love that question, what will the new you say to the old you?
Through this page I hear my heart asking me to take the risk to discover who I can become. I hear my heart reminding me of the CS Lewis quote “you’re never to old to set another goal or dream a new dream”. I hear my heart saying feel the fear and do it anyway. Reinvent your life because who you will become will be more than worth the risk of letting go of this less than life you’re currently living. So even though fear is still nipping at my heels I’m going to say yes to reinventing my life. I will intentionally choose different so that I might have different. Nothing will change unless I first choose to change. So this is me declaring that I will take the risk, I will say YES!
“It’s what we say YES to that determines our life. The No’s just lead nowhere. Playing it safe is risky business” unknown (at least by me)