For reasons I won’t get into now, my week has been hard. Last night I reached a bit of a breaking point and spent nearly an hour crying….and by crying I mean crying the ugly tears that make even breathing a challenge. I eventually calmed down enough to go to bed but in the morning the tears were back. There was a weight of despair and discouragement sitting on my heart that I just could not shake. My heart and my faith both felt so fragile and I wasn’t sure how to get out from under the heaviness I was feeling. Disappointment was clouding my vision and I struggled to find joy.
Spring is slowly making an appearance in Charlotte so I decided to go for a walk along the greenway near my house. As I was walking I took out my iPhone and started taking some pictures. As I was snapping those photos something magical started to happen. With each click of my phone’s camera I felt hope being breathed back into my weary soul. Each picture rekindling the flickering embers that lay in my discouraged and distraught heart. Somewhere along the way today, as I saw the images unfold in my mind and went after them with my camera, the ache in my soul began to heal.
Art heals and my expression of choice is photography. I am a photographer. I may not be a very good one right now and I have a ton to learn but something clicked (no pun intended) inside me today as I was taking those pictures. This is what I am supposed to be doing; this taking pictures thing is my pathway to healing. I don’t quite know what to make of that statement yet or how it will play out but down deep in my soul I believe that taking pictures is meant to be a part of my journey to the me I want to be. I hesitate to label myself a photographer because professional photogs are the “real” photographers. But I am learning that sometimes you have to call yourself something so you can grow into that version of yourself. So today I am declaring I am a photographer. And I believe my Father wants to use my camera to heal the broken parts of me. That is one adventure I can step into. I feel hopeful again and it’s a good feeling to have. Here are some of the pics I took today (VERY minimal editing done so no judging):